I don't know why it should surprise me that there is a book called "How To Defend Yourself Against Alien Abduction". It's by Ann Druffel, who apparently interviewed several people who claim to have been abducted by aliens. A few small passages on this site make me think the book is definitely worth a read but not for the reason you may think, though.

The fact that Druffel is giving advice on the subject is worth a chuckle all on its own. For a minute, let's pretend that people have been abducted by aliens. Is Druffel a self-defense expert? Should she be listened to in the instance of, say, defending oneself against human home invaders? Why in the seven worlds of Jupiter should it be taken on faith that she knows beans about defending your home against alien intruders? 

The advice is just strange. She says that you should never intend to kill or seriously harm intruders; just let them know that they're violating your rights. I have a feeling she lives in a nice, safe neighborhood where puppies roam free and flowers bloom from people's …

By the time anyone is in your bedroom introducing you to alien tech, the time for human rights discussion is over. Obviously if they're experimenting on you, they don't consider your rights worth respecting. You are a monkey to them, and WHY AM I TALKING ABOUT ALIEN ABDUCTION? LOL

Just so you'll know, "envision[ing] protecting, bright white light" may also help. Heck, if I'd known that was all it took to protect myself, I would have taken that midnight walk on Skid Row I was craving for the other night. "You want what, Mr. Scary Thug Guy? Well, take this protecting bright white light!" Yep, that'll show 'em.

How To Defend Yourself Against Alien Abduction

Posted by Rhonda.

Rhonda also writes for Creative And Unique Gift Ideas.