I once had a dog that nearly went into a panic if she had to ride in the back of a pickup truck. She was so nervous that I would always risk life and limb myself to ride with her at those times. She would hang her head and drool and tremble and occasionally gag as if she was about to lose her lunch.

That is a very good description of me on an airplane. It wouldn't be so bad if you couldn't actually FEEL the ground getting farther and farther away, feel yourself dangling up there like…like…like a person in an airplane. It wouldn't be so bad if they didn't cram you in tighter than sardines, and if movie producers didn't insist on making movies about every possible thing that could conceivably go wrong onboard an airplane. Snakes. Come on.

Of course, take off is always kind of fun, because it's just so weird. Here we go, everyone, leaping thousands of feet into the sky as if it's nothing. After an hour or so of the whole sci-fi, "This is as close as I'm ever going to get to traveling on an actual space ship" thrill goes away, the Big Realization kicks in. There's no way out of this, except to land.

Landing seems to be the tricky part, and it never fails that half the time, I get the additional thrill of being put down by the co-pilot that likes all the steep approaches, ton-of-bricks landing, and Dukes-of-Hazard-style-one-wheel-landings. I like the landings where you ask, "When are we going to touch…oh, we're down". I like those landings, the ones you can't really feel.

That's why I shouldn't be looking at pictures like this one, because alcohol is very expensive in Coach and no one should have to experience this sober.

Weird Airplane Pictues

Posted by Rhonda.